Alone :(

With a strong faith, believe and prayers you will achieve anything in this world. Give it a try. God bless you always.

I'm 28 years old and last year my husband and I were told we can not have kids either, because his sperm count is Morbidly low. He is a year younger than me, and after trying for 2 years, this came as a serious blow. He has been taking medications and going to frequent doctors appointments, but IVF or adoption are our only options. I am not sure how to cope with this. It's been almost 6 months and I still cry whenever I think about it or hear about others with their children. I can barely stand to be around people with kids. I feel horrible getting upset in front of my husband, but he understands how I feel and feels bad as well. People keep telling me things will get better, and to have faith, but I honestly do not see how that will happen. I can't talk to any of my friends, since they have kids and can clearly not put themselves into my situations. You are definitely not alone in how you feel though!

We just got the exact same diagnosis on Dec 1, 2011. We have been feeling like we are in a freefall since then. We're seeing a fertility specialist and are waiting for genetic results to come in, but have found out my husband has low testosterone.
With the testicular failure my husband seems to be in, the odds of them finding sperm is really low. If they do find it, it's going to be about $15,000 for everything they want to do. That's not even a guarantee.
Mine is against donor sperm right now too. He's 43, so adoption is out, we don't have the time. I have read a lot about donor sperm and most men are totally against it at first and will often decide to do it.

I have a blog and am a part of a few message boards that focus on azoospermia if you are interested. I find it helpful and difficult all at once since everyone's doctor seems to have a different protocol and some of them were getting treatment sooner than us.

I told too many people when it all happened and regret being so open. It was good in one sense, we are newlyweds and had a lot of people asking us about babies. But if we eventually use donor sperm, we are just going to tell our close friends and family about that.

I have talked to my family doctor about my anxiety and depression. He said that it is very common to experience those feelings, especially at first. He said we grieve like we would a death. It wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor. It's hard too while you are waiting for testing. They will probably want to do genetic testing on him and hormonal testing. He could just be a CF carrier and be missing his vas deferens, but have lots of sperm trapped in his testicles.

I'm brand new here but if you want, please message me. I have a ton of websites I can share with you.

i hope I can shed light on the mans point of view when it comes to donor sperm. I too have the same condition as your husband. i had the operation but did not work for me. to me it was like grieving of death. The chance of my dreams of being a biological father were shattered. Along with that amount of emotions that followed. I felt guilt, ashamed, and most of all embarressed that in people's eyes i was less of a man.

When I was first diagnosed I was dead set against donor sperm. The reason why is that In the back of my mind that baby would be be wifes and some other man. Even though my wife tried to convince me that was not the case. It weighed on me. I wouls always thought i would be resentful of the baby. Now I look back and think I was right and that is why it did work for him.

We too were feeling the pressure from outsiders about starting a family. People who had no idea what was happen would ask us when are you gonna start a family. We would just shake our heads and smile and would say soon. there was one time we were out and ran into some old neighbors of my wife. They asked us when we were gonna start a family. We gave the standard answer. They turned to me in a joken matter and said come on give this girl a baby, we know it is your fault that you do not have a family. Now these peopple had no clue of what we were going through. however after they walked away I was crushed. I wanted to crawl up in a ball and cry.

As a man we understand what you women are going through. Us men know you are hurting, but we are hurting more then you can ever imagine. The man is dealing with his problem of no sperm. Dealing with being torn between adoption, IVF, and use of donor sperm. Most men do not like to open up and talk about these things with family or friends. So we then bottle it all up within our selves.

I am trying to help give the man's perspective on the whole situation. I hope this is helpful to you and your spouses.